"Frank Burns Is a Lipless Wonder"
Be honest now. You almost didn't want to read this article after seeing that headline because it's weird. And gross. And impossible.
Right?
I'm not sure where they came up with this special day idea for January 6. Kiss a slug on the lips day seems like a misprint, a typo.
But what could it even be a typo of? And is it "kiss" or "slug" or "lips" or some combination of the three that is the mistake?
Some of the changes you could make to this day are even worse than the one given. I will spare you the tactlessness of them.
By the way, the Frank Burns quote is spoken by Hotlips Houlihan on the old TV series M*A*S*H.
Okay, let's assume for now that this is not a typo. It still can't be something you're literally expected to do.
We're over two weeks into winter. If you live anywhere that can be considered up north, the ground is likely covered with snow. (If not this year, then most years on January 6.) You wouldn't be able to find a slug now even if there was a spot of grass in the clear. About the only place likely to have some is Frank's Bait Shop in the north woods.
So maybe the creators of Kiss a Slug Day were thinking more metaphorically.
We've already decided this is weird, gross, and impossible. Maybe you're just supposed to attempt to do something else that's kinda weird, kinda gross, and nearly impossible.
The more I think about it, the more that seems the most plausible explanation for celebrating this day. Now what fits that bill?
Let Da Unyun know what you come up with. Don't be shy. It doesn't mean you personally celebrated today that way.
This article itself is kinda weird, the picture is kinda gross, and it was nearly impossible to write, so I'm done for the day.